If life were a sitcom, everyone would eventually find some kind of happy ending in the long run. Nearly everyone.
The bad guy would get it, or he'd become a good guy and reform. The good guy would get the girl (or good girl gets the guy) and they'd live happily ever after. The friends would all settle down eventually and find their nitches in life.

Then there would be people like me. The comedy relief in the darkest of hours. Willing to smile when everyone else is down. Willing to laugh when he's on his last string. The implacable grin that keeps the hero going to the bitter end.
Unfortunately, I also have to have the worst ending of all the heroes allies. If other friends die, so must I. If they don't die, I still might die. If they have the best possible things happen to them, I manage to make it somehow.

I hate sitcoms. And movies. Because I'm the comedic relief.
I'm screwed.